MARIA'S INTEGRATION POST

Home from Brasil for a week now.

Integration is slow.

I'm having many feelings about my time in Abadiania and my brother's experience being so different. No need to have answers now... I suppose time will reveal much...

The Entities continue to work with me daily. I feel their love around me.

There is a sense of waking up from a long sleep. The blanket that had kept me numb was woven of fear. Throwing off that blanket now, a victim no longer, the world looks very different. And I look back at my life with some sorrow at how much I avoided. How scared I've been of love.

I am already investigating a January return trip to Brasil. I'm looking into renting a house for four-weeks. I already miss the Casa, Abadiania, the community...

Gratitude for this renewal of life within me. My eyes shine. My heart shines. My hands radiate Creator's healing love. I am ready for what's next.

"Segura na mao de deus e vai."

Take the hand of God and go.

Amor y luz,

Maria

Anthony: Last Post

This morning I had a consultation with a medical intuitive over the phone. I first relayed to her my experience with John of God and the other mediums at Spiritist centers in Brasil. She told me that she didn't sense an entity attachment. She told me that somehow my frequency had shifted and I was picking up voices from my former coworkers and voices from the other side. She said that I would require a frequency shift to block the voices.

We talked about meditation and how it might be possible that my practice had shifted me into another frequency that triggered this experience. She was less sure how to describe my sense of being possessed. She also suggested that if I did not shift frequencies with John of God in Abadiania, then I might not shift if I visit again.

I have been talking to someone who practices healing within the Western Mystery Tradition. His method seems similar to the practices that I've read about in Dione Fortune's book Psychic Self-Defense. Tomorrow morning I drive to Los Angeles for five days of work in this tradition to address possession and psychic protection.

This practitioner in Los Angeles just returned from a visit to see John of God. Like the medical intuitive, he suggested that a second visit to Abadiania might not be the best choice for me since I didn't experience any positive changes during my first visit. He suggested work on my aura and chakras, cord cutting, and other techniques.

I do want to go back to Abadiania, but I look forward to taking my photography and video editing courses this fall sememster. My hope is that I return from Los Angeles without these voices yakking at me.

When I went before the Entity incorporated in John of God, I asked for help in realizing my creative path. The Entity said he could help me. I want to get back to writing, filmmaking, and maybe even acting and singing. (Of course, since my trip to Brasil, I also want to brush up on my Portuguese and Spanish.)

Anthony: Back from Rio

I do not like the obsessing entity or entities that I have. I kept hearing them while walking along the beaches of Ipanema, Leblon, Copacabana, and Leme, sipping suco de melancía, listening to Portuguese lessons in my hotel room. They seem to solely exist to bother me. They have said that they want me to work in pornography, but they do not follow up. They make racist and sexual comments, often repeating themselves, and swear all the time. I didn't want to stay in Rio with them.

On August 1, I took a cab to the Santos Dumont airport in Rio to try to get on the same August 2 flight as my sister. I wanted to surprise her on the flight home — I was supposed to leave on August 11. I paid USD$135.00 to change my flight from Rio to Sao Paulo and Sao Paulo to SFO. I took a final walk along Copacabana at night to listen to a woman who played guitar and sang along the beach between two circular food bars. Then the next day, I took a taxi from my hotel to the international airport. Along the freeway, the taxi broke down and the driver flagged down an official taxi. The taxi crossed two lanes of traffic while I dragged my lugged in front of the first taxi. I switched cabs. The new driver would get the R$70.00 fare. (He paid the first driver some money to make a fair trade.)

At 4:45 PM on August 2, I walked up to my sister sitting in a food court in the Sao Paulo-Guarulhos International Airport and gave her a hug. She told me that she had written in her journal that she would be traveling back home with someone, even taking the Marin Airporter with the person. She couldn't think of who the person might be.

Since I've been back, I've been thinking about seeing a medical intuitive. I arranged a last minute trip to another state, but changed plans when I discovered the price would be $2,500.00. With taxi and hotel and food, the whole trip would cost around $3,700.00. That would cover the cost of two months in Abadiania if I turned around and went back to see John of God.

Of course, I start classes on August 16. But I cannot enjoy the beaches in Rio or take classes with this possession by discarnate or incarnate entities. (I really have no idea what's going on. I just know that the cause isn't neurological and I don't have schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, or bipolar disorder.) So my first priority is getting rid of this thing.

I have about ten days to get my teeth cleaned and plan another trip back to Brasil for mid-August. I have written a letter to a staff person at the Casa, explaining the obstacles of my last trip. (Even now this stupid entity wants to write this weblog entry. It keeps typing letters that I don't want to type and I have to delete them.) I think I need to spend more time talking to mediums of the Casa.

Anthony: Copacabana/Ipanema

I spent four and a half hours walking around Brasilia taking photos. The Sanctuary of Dom Bosco, a Catholic Church, was one of my favorite sites to photograph. The little square pieces of stained glass, blue and purple, surround the pews. The light is beautiful. If one sees nothing else in Brasilia, I'd recommend visiting this church.

I met Humberto after spending an afternoon taking photos. He picked me up at the Grand Bittar Hotel, Brasilia, and drove us to Vale do Amanhecer. Three mediums worked on me, but they were unsucessful in removing the malicious entity or entities from me. They told Humberto -- who relayed to me -- that the obsessing entity was very strong. They said that I was a medium who could no longer put off developing my capacity for mediumship. If I put off this path, the mediums said that I would continue to be bothered by lower entities.

In the neighborhood of Santa Teresa in Rio de Janeiro, I worked with a handful of mediums who said they were able to remove eight entities. But I would need more help in removing the remaining entities. When I left Abadiânia, I had heard that all entities had been cleared.

Since I cannot feel anything during this processes, I'm not sure what to think. In the end, I always leave hearing the same voices with the experience that another consciousness can move through me and speak through me. The interpretations from one spiritist center to the next can vary, so I'm left a bit confused as to my situation.

I'm still taking the herbs from the Casa de Dom Inacio in Abadiânia and meditating with the masculine-feminine crystals for protection and clearing. A woman I met in Abadiânia suggested that ayahuasca rituals might help.

Anyway, I'm enjoying walking along the beaches in Rio. I moved into the South American Copacabana Hotel. I've found a place to get laundry and cheap watermelon juice and tangerine juice. I love it here. I'm very glad that I decided to take some classes to refresh my memory of Portuguese before leaving on this trip. I look forward to studying the language more.

I have a few more Spiritist centers to visit before I leave on August 11.

LAST POST BY MARIA

This week is Dom Inacio's (St. Ignatius') Saint's Day. Friday, medium Joao will incorporate the entity of Dom Inacio - this only happens once a year because the energy of the Entity is so powerful it would destroy the physical body.

Anthony is off in Rio. I hope he's receiving the help he needs.

I have been receiving more spontaneous surgeries from the Entities. I've been in bed the last two days, unable to do anything. My head is hurting. It reminds me of how it feels after getting a cranial-sacral session. Sore.

I realize that since arriving in Abadiania, my focus has redirected towards my own healing process and away from that of my brother's. This happened naturally within me, and also by the encouragement of everyone at the Casa. The staff of the Casa say, if you made it down here, the Entities have a plan for you. I've met many people who went before the Entity with selfless requests for their family members and the response from the Entity was a prescription for the person standing there, for an ailment the person never mentioned to the Entity. The staff will tell you, "Don't think about other people. Prioritize yourself. God is holding everyone here equally." This direction makes for a very powerful and alive and self-compassionate energy amongst the crowds here. Because we are all allowing ourselves to be love and healed, it seems we are also more generous with our love for each other. People tend to each other here, yet not from the energy of martyr or self-neglect, it's a genuine giving.

So, it turns out Anthony was actually escorting me to Brazil, opening the door for me to come to John of God for healing. Paradoxes paradoxes! I am deeply grateful.

I don't feel moved at this point to continue writing this blog. Perhaps when I return from Brazil I'll write a summary.

I will be home on August 3rd, and will be house-sitting in Sonoma County until August 14.

Peace and Radiant Love,

Maria

Anthony: Leaving Abadiania

Today I had an interesting talk with a medium of the Casa. I went to her in hopes of finding out more about the two crystals that I received as a gift from the Entities. I am supposed to keep them hidden from others and meditate with the crystal designated as male in my right hand and female in my left hand. I sit in the current rooms meditating with my hands in these "socks," small bags in which I hold the individual crystals in each hand. The crystals are for protection, and I'm supposed to sleep with them under my bed. The medium was firm in her belief that I should not leave the Casa and Abadiania. Tomorrow I leave for Brasilia. After two days, I will fly to Rio de Janeiro.

I have been going through the line a lot to stand before John of God to keep the Entities abreast of my situation. I understand the suggestion to sit in the current rooms, but I get asked to behave or leave the current rooms when the malicious entity attached to me acts out. Recently, outbursts have been fewer, and no one has asked me to leave. But the attached entity keeps talking to me and wanting to swear. It holds back. It demonstrates in small ways that it can act out if it wants to. Perhaps some would say the crystals or Entities working around the Casa are restraining them.

The most frustrating experience that I have had is with staff telling me that this possession is all in my mind or that I can control the attached entity whenever it tries to swear through me or act out. My experience is that I cannot control this entity when it wants to act out. It subjugates my will. People aware of Spiritism and obsession know that subjugation is possible, so it was confusing that no one seemed to get what was going on with me. The feeling of going in circles persisted. I was asked to sit in the current rooms, told that I could control the attached entity's outbursts, then asked to leave the current rooms when I couldn't.

Yesterday I went before the Entities again with a more direct request for depossession or spirit releasement. I went with a staff person who has worked with John of God for some years, and I was very grateful that she took the time to assist me. Standing in line, passing through the Medium's Current Room, the attached entity swore loudly. (I had explained to this staff person that I had no control, and she seemed to believe me.) When she relayed my request in Portuguese to the Entity incorporated in John of God, the incorporated Entity rolled John of God's eyes and tilted his head back and spoke to the translator. The translator told me that the Entity incorporated in John of God had already removed the obsessing entity, and I was to meditate with the crystals in the current rooms. My time was up. It was the next person's turn.

Outside, I tried to explain to the woman who helped me that I didn't understand how the obsessing entity could be gone. I told her that it wasn't me who swore in line passing through the Medium's Current Room. At that point, I don't know if she continued to believe me. Yet my experience had not changed. I still heard the voices, and whatever is possessing me was still able to move and speak through me. I did not believe the obsessing entity was gone. With respect to the translation, the Entity's word seemed to be final with no further explanation.

When I explained this situation to some Brazilians I know, they told me that I need some powerful work, and that I could get this work in Rio de Janeiro. I know these friends have my best interest at heart. And they know the Spiritist centers in Brasilia and Rio. They personally will be taking me to meet people who may be able to help me. My friends told me that I needed to develop skills as a medium in order to protect myself from further attack, and to be able to get my own answers about these matters in the future. I listened to their suggestions and considered my experience at the Casa, which sees hundreds of people daily, and understood that I would be able to get more time with mediums at these other Spiritist centers. There are many mediums in Rio, evidently, so lines can move quickly and one can ask more questions and receive more detailed information.

Thankfully, people whom I've met who have put themselves in my position have said they would want the same answers that I am seeking. I believe the answers to my questions can be of great value not only to me, but to others. What is the process of transforming and releasing strong entity attachments? How does one protect oneself from these malicious "otherworldly" influences? Is a religious life or the practice of mediumship necessary for defense? To what extent does shadow work or reading, seeing, listening to certain media make one vulnerable to malicious entities? Is there any element of chance involved in getting possessed? Does karma always play a part? Through past traumas, alcohol consumption, innate psychic abilities, or whatever, I do think certain people may be more open than others and are more likely to attract spirits looking for someone to possess.

I have enjoyed Abadiania and met many people who have helped arrange for me to continue my exploration of Spiritism in Brasil. I would love to return to Abadiania, to the little dogs trotting across the street, the large puffy clouds in the sky, the friendly people, the occasional gusts of red dust from the unfinished sidewalks or worn streets. I've met wonderful people here from all over the world who are willing to talk about spirit obsession and healing over a cafezinho, and who take a genuine interest in what it means to heal. I believe this conversation will continue in Brasilia and Rio.

PHOTOS OF FRIENDS

BEFORE THE ENTITY ONCE AGAIN: Maria

Today I went to the morning session with the Entity. I stood in line for 2nd Timers. While waiting, Joao came out into the main hall with an entity incorporated in him and called for someone in the audience - a doctor. A man came forward. The Entity performed an eye surgery right there, then exited again. The man was taken to the recovery room. You just never know what the Entities will do.

When I went before the Entity today, I noticed it was a different being than the first one I'd met. This one was very business-like, you might say. He really kept the line moving and that was good, because there were a lot of people today.

The Entity didn't have me kneel and didn't take my hand. My request to the Entities, and Creator, had been for two things: 1. For help clearing the hate, fear, terror and pain in my being from my childhood in this life and past-lives. And 2. For protection from malevolent entities and negative energy. He prescribed two crystal baths and to return at 2pm - the afternoon session.

I had also given the Entity two photos of people. Both were prescribed herbs for their conditions.

Once again, my body was reeling with energy after being in the presence of such a high vibration of light. I felt the loving spirits all around me in the Integration room. I quickly fell into a deep trance-state. My head was moving constantly (in a left to right or head nod), which it always does when I go into a deep meditation or trance-state.

Less than ten minutes and I was out in the sunlight again. I received my back to back crystal baths, then went to the Farmacia and bought the herbs for my friends.

This afternoon, I returned to see the Entity in the 2:00 line. The Entity heard my request again and prescribed herbs. How wonderful! I get to take herbs infused with Creator's love for me to heal the terror, hatred and pain in my being.

In talking to my Pousada friends here who have come many times, I am reminded that a big part of our healing process is our own will. We have to ask directly for what we want for the Entities/Spirits to help us. And then, there are many ways to approach this asking for help. One form is to pray as if to an external source, from a place of begging for pity and help. If someone is sincere, this request is seen and responded to. A more powerful place to approach the request if from a place of, "Spirit and I are One. We are collaborating on my healing." Then ask for your desire with complete willingness to do your part (self-awareness, self-forgiveness, self-compassion work to free yourself from limiting patterns, thoughts, stories.)

The medicine we're given by Spirit here at the Casa is more based on our Spiritual growth rather then a miraculous physical healing. Spirit gives us just what we need for our Soul's evolutionary journey, so that we can truly be free. Illness is a teacher. Our obstacles spiritually, emotionally and mentally are teachers. The Entities here won't take these away from us if it will deprive us of true growth and evolvement.

I came here desiring a major life transformation. I felt ready to fully change and take on my true mission. I thought that by proving to Spirit I had complete faith I could be healed from my head trauma, that that was what would allow Spirit to heal me. What I've realized is, I have no idea what it's going to take to heal my head, but Great Spirit does. All I need to do is show up, be willing to do the work that's mine to do, and open to receive. I am in Creator's hands.

Blessings,

Maria

A NEW WEEK IN ABADIANIA: maria update

All's well with us. I've been relaxing and sleeping a lot during the days. Joao returns to the Casa on Wednesday. My big healing during this off-time has been around not being a savior. My mantra today has been, "Anthony is in God's hands." Then I apply it to my whole family, then friends, clients, everyone. When I remember this truth I move into a beautiful, joyful peace, because I also remember that I am in God's hands.

Today I went to the Casa and spent my time moving back and forth between the covered deck with a view of rolling hills in the West, and the meditation room where the main prayer triangle is. After two hours and three laps, I felt totally restored.

Last night a group of us from our Pousada watched a new video documentary on John of God called "Healing". It's not available in the USA yet. It was deeply moving!! There was a story about a woman who had cancer throughout her whole body. She went before Medium Joao. The Entity asked her if she would be willing to lose a body part in order to be healed. She said yes. The Entity then squeezed and pulled on her right hand, and then her pinky finger. He said, "I've just moved the cancer in your body all into the tip of your pinky." He then cut off the very top of her pinky finger. She was cured of cancer and is healthy today! There are so many stories like this. A man who had HIV since the mid-80's came here and within six years was totally healed. He said, "I kept wanting an immediate miracle healing, but if that had happened the deeper transformations couldn't have happened. Today, I'm not just healed of AIDS, I'm healed from the reason I had AIDS."

I feel so grateful to be here. I am so grateful to my beautiful community and family for donating money for this trip. I hope you all have a chance some day to come to Abadiania, to the Casa, and go before the Entity.

Blessings of radiant light and love,

Maria

Maria's Operation/ Photos

My operation was an experience like none other. In the morning I went in first with many, many others receiving psychic surgery. We filed into the Surgery Room and sat in wooden pews. We were told to close our eyes and put our right hand on the place afflicted, and if we didn't have a bodily area, to put the right hand over the heart. I placed my hand on the back of my head over the occipital nerves. Suddenly we were told to open our eyes and prepare to exit after all those in wheelchairs were rolled out. Maybe 5 minutes!

Once outside a guide told us all the post-op requirements. I was given a prescription for herbs as part of my healing process. The herbs prescribed for everyone is Passiflora (passion flower), in capsules. They are touched by the Entities and programmed to help heal the specific affliction of each person. So even though they're all Passiflora, if I took Anthony's herbs I would have a very different reaction than if I took mine.

I took a taxi back to Irmao Sol with others from the pousada who had also had operations. I took one of my capsules and lay down in my white clothes for my 24 hour of post-op adjustments by the Entities. The guide said we should sleep or pretend to sleep - basically always be lying down with our eyes closed, unless we're eating (Anthony brought me all my meals), or using the bathroom. Wow! What a journey! Staying in bed with eyes closed for so long. So many prayers, thoughts, daydreams, dozing off and having visions, dreaming... and on and on. Like the solo time at Vision Quest - this 24 hours encapsulated my whole lifetime so far.

At one point I was in a deep relaxed space and a brilliant white light lit up at the top of my forehead. I knew it was the Entities and I gave thanks. The light returned. Then I saw, with my
eyes still closed, two hands descend down to place fingers on either side of my jaw. The fingers tapped my jaw gently three times. I felt it and heard it! It brought me out of my semi-sleep and into full consciousness. Again, I gave thanks, smiled and felt a joy blossom in my heart.
"This is real!"

Much more happened in that sleeping time that I won't explain. I got out of bed at 11am the next day and joined others for lunch. Sacred soup had been brought from the Casa, and all of those recovering from operations ate soup. I was very sensitive in my lower belly all morning. I had had constant pinching around my navel and ovaries throughout my time in bed. I really felt like I'd just gotten home from surgery! My head is a different situation all together. It was still twitching, yet I had way more understanding about my relationship to it. The twitching is connected to my victim consciousness and realizing the power of choosing to not live in this consciousness anymore. I was also shown that my afflictions are connected to deep heartbreak and loss from many, many past lives where I was severed from my Beloved violently and against our wills. I came to a decision that I must come to a completion around this karmic cycle once and for all. I've been praying on how to do this.

Friday afternoon I returned to the Casa and went into the Medium's current room to hold the current for others and receive more help myself. Three hours in a wooden pew, even though I'd brought a pillow, was very physically uncomfortable for me. My head felt like it was in a vice, the pressure was so intense. Then I had moments of pure relief and grace! I realized that anxiety thoughts made my head-twitching worse. Anxiety thoughts, of course, were from my victim consciousness- worries about Anthony, hoping my prayers are being heard, doubts... etc. Whenever I found myself in these places I would imagine taking this part of me under my wing and saying, "Welcome. Sit with me here." Then I'd keep meditating. I felt the Entities a couple of times in my head, working with my cervical spine and jaw.

At the end of the afternoon session, I stood up and felt so dizzy, like I'd been drugged. My head was swimming. It took a good hour for my balance and clarity to return. Believe it or not, to me this was a sign to continue sitting in current as much as possible.

In the current is where the work is done. This is where I'm asked to own and accept all of me with compassion. This is the practice. The Entities are with me all the time, working on me, loving me, and I feel encouraged.

I had a dream that I was telling someone I was returning to Abadiania on January 22, 2011. I then drew lines through four weeks in a row on a calendar I was holding. I believe this is Spirit showing me the next step to my treatment. Many people have continued to return to the Casa year after year, and every year they are healthier and happier in all areas of their lives. If this is the commitment I must make for full healing, I joyfully make it! This place is so powerful. Everyone is here to awaken, to heal, to be whole again. Connections made here are deep and genuine. I feel transformed just from talking to the other guests at our pousada about their experiences with the Entities.

Today is Saturday. Anthony and I went to the Casa to meditate. I had another crystal bed treatment. I can't explain how amazing this treatment is! In 20 minutes I went from feeling a bit irritable and dense from really working my issues, to feeling my heart open, softness in my being, relaxed in my body, and clear energetically.

I found out today that "crystal baths", the actual contraptions that are rigged up over massage tables, are sold at the Casa for $3000 ( I think that's dollars, not Brazilian reals.) I would love to find a group of people willing to raise some money together to buy one of these for our Sonoma County community.

Today I put photos of my Grandparent's in the prayer triangle. Anthony had taken the pictures but didn't want to place them because his possessing entity might talk through his prayers and taint them. The photo just above to the right is their pictures inside the triangle with a picture of John of God to the left of the triangle. Friday I placed a photo of Ella! Yay!

Where I stand now:
I am healing. I am opening. I am committed. I've never been happier in my life! I keep pinching myself - I'm really here! What an opportunity! I'm so glad Anthony has the opportunity to remain longer. I have complete faith he will be healed. I know I will be.

Blessings to all,
Maria

Anthony: Enitities' Current Room

Yesterday I got in the 2pm line to go before the incorporated entity to ask what I should do next. The entity that is attached to me was acting out in the Mediums' Current Room, the room that I was asked to go to, so I needed a new suggestion for meditating at the Casa.

The plan — to visit the entity with a particular translator to whom I had explained my situation and shown my doctor's letter. This translator would help to clarify a new plan with the incorporated entity. Unfortunately, this translator was needed elsewhere by the time I got to the head of the line. As I got closer to John of God, I started letting people pass me, hoping that the translator that I was looking for would return soon. Then the entity told a different translator to get me and bring me before him, even though I'd let a few people ahead of me. The entity told me that I would be protected in the Mediums' Current Room. Then I was led away.

The problem — the malicious entity that I have was acting out in the Mediums' Current Room, and I got called out there for misbehavior. The information I'd received was not helpful, and I was unable to ask what to do next.

I ran into the other translator outside, the one who I'd been looking for, and he suggested that I come back for the 8am line tomorrow and ask permission to sit in the Entities' Current Room. He said, if I sat near John of God, the entities could keep an eye on me if the malicious entity attached to me started acting out. I agreed with the plan, though I was a bit frustrated, feeling like I was going in circles and not getting anywhere. (I should add that I know the entities know what's going on. They had begun their work after my first request. I was frustrated about what I was supposed to do next, since the first prescribed plan didn't seem to work.)

Today in the 8am line, I asked permission to sit near John of God and was able to sit in the Entities' Current Room. The entity — or whatever it is that I have attached to me — swore out loud a few times, but did not hit me. Then it curled the fingers in my hands, as if to say, I am totally taking over now. It stood me up and walked over to John of God and waved at the incorporated entity. A staff person escorted me away. Of course, this meant that I didn't get to stay in the Entities' Current Room, which was the second plan.

I met my preferred translator outside, and he suggested that I return to sit in the same spot in the Entities' Current Room for the 2pm session. I let him know what happened, and he told me that I could control the malicious entity's actions. This was the second time that I had heard this, and it bothered me a bit, since I don't seem to be able to control the entity's outbursts — they often catch me by surprise while I seem to be in a dissociated state.

When I returned to the Casa to sit in the Entities' Current Room at 2pm, I walked over to the side room where I was supposed to sit. But another staff person stopped me from going over there. He told me that I couldn't sit there in the afternoon, only in the morning, after prescribed by the entities. In the afternoon, people, if they have permission to sit in the Entities' Current Room, are supposed to sit in the larger room in which John of God sits. (The Entities' Current Room is shaped like an "L". I was trying to sit in the side room so the incorporated entity could see me.)

Thankfully, though sitting in a spot other than the suggested one, I got through the hours of prescribed meditation with only a few obscene gestures. The entity attached to me kept giving the finger. Near the end of the session, it gave the finger toward the area where John of God sits. My eyes were closed. The gestures caught me by surprise. I couldn't control or stop them. But the malicious entity didn't slap me around. Staff didn't say anything to me. I have no idea if John of God was in the room at the time.

Afterward, I went to Tutti-Frutti, a cafe close to the Casa, and asked to sit at a woman's table outside. She turned out to be a medium of the Casa. She recommended that I keep the entities up to date on my situation, even though the entities already know what's going on. So I will return to the 8am line next Wednesday morning to give a greater explanation of my situation. Hopefully, the translator I talk to most can communicate my need to sit close to John of God for both morning and afternoon sessions to the other Casa staff. Or maybe some other plan will work out.

The woman at the cafe suggested that I would not regret buying the special crystals the entity recommended to me during my first time in line. She had a pair herself. The crystals are $1,800.00 Reais, or US$1,016.00. Though a staff person at the Casa said the crystals would speed up the removal of the entity, I don't know that I will purchase them. I think the crystals are supposed to help protect you if you are really open, but I'm not sure. Once you receive the crystals from the entity, you're not supposed to let anyone see or touch them.

Anthony: The Current Room

Yesterday I waited in line to see John of God. A translator helped me give my request to him. After I sat in the entities' current room, I was pulled aside for a talk by the translator who helped me, then I picked up my prescription for herbs. The translator then told me that the incorporated entity recommended a special crystal for me. Even if I did not purchase the crystal, the translator said the entity incorporated in John of God was willing to help me. I felt good about my first experience and began taking my herbs that day.

Today I went to the mediums' current room and the entity that is possessing me started acting out. It swore out loud, it punched my leg hard a few times, and slapped my face. A staff person asked me to behave myself, thinking that I was a medium helping others. Evidently, some mediums act out whatever they are picking up on. The staff person said that I was able to control it. When I said that I couldn't control the actions, she said that I would learn to control the outbursts.

I realized that the swearing and hitting might continue and left to talk to a translator. I spoke to the man who gave us our orientation on Tuesday night. He understands the situation better now. I told him I started hearing voices about a year ago, then went into trances induced by the voices, until I felt possessed, like I was reluctantly hosting another consciousness inside me. When I got back to my room, the entity attached to me bit my lip hard, making me bleed.

I will return to the Casa today for the 2pm line to see John of God. First I will see the man who gave us our orientation. He said that he would help me in approaching the incorporated entity again to request a course of action. I'll show the translator the letter from my doctor relaying that the entity inside me has a mind of its own and I cannot control all of its actions. (They often catch me by surprise.)

I don't think I will be able to sit in the mediums' current room for my healing process if the malicious entity that is attached to me keeps swearing out loud and hitting me. Since sitting in the current room is a big part of the healing process here at the Casa, I'm hopeful that John of God will be able to pass on to me another option.

I walk around feeling able to relate to others freely, but a little bit numb around the healing process. It feels like the malicious entity has wrapped itself around me so many times that I don't have a clear connection to my feelings about the possession. When I had my car accident and whiplash injury in December 1998, it took me almost a year before I realized I needed to get another lawyer to handle my settlement for medical treatment, that my condition was serious. I was in a daze. I often feel like that when the malicious entity attached to me chooses to make itself felt. My memory suffers most. So perhaps I don't really remember how it makes me feel.

FIRST MEETING WITH MEDIUM JOAO & THE ENTITY

An experience like none I’ve ever had.

The only thing that comes close is the time in Les Ste.s Maries de la Mer, in Southern France, while I prayed in the tomb of St. Sarah.

I went into a state of bliss for one hour, whilst tourists came and went with video recorders and flashing cameras. I asked St. Sarah how I could always live in this state, because clearly this was true joy and peace. She’d told me to leave my then husband and follow the path of the spiritual pilgrim. I remember being deeply resistant to her response and ignoring it completely. Two months later, my husband asked for a divorce.

The Entities who work through Joao de Deus have committed to help human beings remember their true spiritual identity. Over 37 entities incorporate into Joao's body. Some of the most powerful beings are St. Ignatius, St. Francis of Assisi, John the Baptist, King Solomon, King David, and then there are beings who lived recently on Earth as doctors: Dr. Augusto Almeida, Dr. Oswaldo Cruz, and others. Then there are entities who won't give their names and just say to call them "Love".

This morning Anthony and I woke at 5:30AM and ate breakfast at 6:30, then walked to The Casa for our meeting with the medium Joao. First we picked up our "First Time" tickets, which are free, at the book store at the Casa, then we went to the translator's table. A kind man name Arturo helped us. Next we sat in the waiting room until it was time - over an hour. There were hundreds of people by the time the lines were called. Those getting operations (psychic surgery) are called first.

Eventually our line was called.

We slowly made our way through the Medium’s current room. The term current in Portugese means two things: a current like an electrical or ocean current, and also a chain. So as people meditate with their eyes closed in the current rooms, they create a strong chain of love and energy. The chain becomes weak when you cross your legs or arms, open your eyes, or get distracted. In the Medium’s current room anyone can sit (after they’ve had their first meeting with the Entity) and meditate to help create a strong current of love and cleansing as the first-time people move through to meet the Entity. The love of the current helps calm them and clear their energy fields. Those who freely choose to meditate here do so voluntarily to be of service, and of course, they are also receiving blessing from the Entities of the Casa.

Once we made it through the Medium’s current room, we entered into Medium Joao’s current room. This is where I had my first glimpse of Medium Joao, sitting in an arm chair at the head of the room. Each person in line, when they reached him, would receive all of 2 seconds in his presence while the Entity incorporated in him prescribed a treatment. Medium Joao’s current room is L-shaped. You enter at the top of the L and walk down an aisle of church pews to the corner, where Joao sits facing down the long aisle. To Joao’s right is the shorter arm of the L, a room with more benches facing Joao, serving as extra space for patient’s to sit after they meet with him. People only get to sit in Joao’s current room if the Entity tells them, “Sit in my current.” Otherwise, you pass through the short arm of the L and into the Surgery room, which also serves as an integration room for people after seeing the Entity, before exiting out the door to the outside.

The Medium’s current room is very intense energetically. I am very sensitive to energy, so it hit me strongly. I felt my whole body buzzing and waves moving up my body into my head where it got clunky as it moved through old head trauma patterns, before pouring out. But when we got into Medium Joao’s current room – the energy amplified exponentially. The close we got to the Entity, the more my body reacted. I began having moments of having to close my eyes, stop walking and just let the wave of energy pass – moments of no-thought, just pure energy.

About ten people before we were before the Entity, the line stopped, as a man received visible/physical surgery right there in the moment. Assistants of the Casa came up the line moving us aside to make way for the man, who held a towel to his face where an inch long cut was bleeding just under his left eye.

Suddenly, there was Anthony with a translator standing before John of God. Joao had him kneel on the small bench at his feet as he told him his prescription. “I know what you need,” the Entity said in English. I broke into tears where I stood watching. I hadn’t heard anything the Entity told him or what the translator said, all I could feel was my love for my brother and my strong wish for his freedom. While Anthony knelt there, Joao looked beyond his head right into my eyes. In that look, I felt his acknowledgement of Anthony and I as brother and sister, and all we’ve gone through together. He kept gazing at me as Anthony stood up and was escorted off by another assistant. And then the Entity put his hand out to me and I approached with tears rolling down my face, feeling the most beautiful, undefended love.

The Entity never broke eye contact with me. The translator gestured that I kneel, so I did and the Entity took my hand and held it. The translator must have spoken my request, though I didn’t hear it, as suddenly the Entity was speaking Portugese to me. I had asked for healing for my head trauma and for a dense mass in my abdomen that had never been diagnosed. I was transfixed in our gaze, feeling overwhelmed by the most profound compassion and loving recognition. I felt home in that spiritual light, as I had with St. Sarah in France.

Then I heard the translator’s voice saying, “Two crystal-beds and operation tomorrow.” Before I knew what was happening, I was up and walking in a daze into the surgery/integration room. I saw Anthony through the corner of my eye sitting in Medium Joao’s current room, so I knew the Entity must have told him to sit in his current. I expected that. For Anthony, that meant he would sit through this session and return for the 2pm session to sit in the Entity’s current as well.

I went into the integration room and sat. Tears came in waves, then subsided and peace filled me. Then everyone was told to exit. I walked straight to the bookstore and bought a ticket for two crystal bed treatments, back to back (is how they schedule them.)

The crystal bed treatment was wonderful! They’re 20 minutes each – so I lay there for 40 minutes. It is a machine designed by the Entities, that holds 7 or 8 pure quartz crystals, each about the size of a man’s thumb. They are each pointing down over your body, one per chakra. When the machine is turned on, energy is directed through the crystals and a colored light. So the root chakra crystal had a red light shining through it. It reminded me of Christmas lights that twinkle, as they flashed on and off. This treatment is prescribed for those going into surgery to prepare them by clearing and balancing the chakras.

There were amazing moments during the Crystal Bed treatment where all the pressure in my/ on my body lifted and I felt as light as a feather – and my head-twitching stopped!

Post chakra clearing, I ate a bowl of blessed soup at the outdoor eating area, then waited for Anthony.

I found Anthony eating soup later. He said the voices in his head were still making threats and swearing, yet Joao's Entity told him he could help him.

I decided to walk back to our Pousada and rest to prepare for tomorrow morning’s operation. I’m not letting anyone touch me right now, so as not to take on anyone’s energy. I ended up sleeping for two-hours. I dreamt that I was telling someone that I was returning to Abadiania on the 22^{nd of January for four weeks. I woke up and wrote this down, since often information comes to people in dreams here.}

Tomorrow – Anthony will return to the current rooms and sit in the Medium’s room to continue his treatment. I will go through first with all receiving operations. After the psychic surgery, I have to take a taxi to my Pousada and rest for 24 hours – alone. Other’s will bring me food during this time. Then in eight days, I will have a revision meeting with the Entity for him to re-evaluate me.

I can tell… already…I’m going to have a difficult time leaving here.

I will write again after my 24 hours of rest post-op.

Blessings and love,

Maria

LANDED IN BRASILIA - OFF TO ABADIANIA TODAY

Anthony and I had a smooth flight. We met very nice people along the way. It was a long trip! By the time we went to sleep last night, after dinner, we must have been awake for over 35 hours straight. I personally slept for about 12 hours, waking this morning with Anthony knocking on my hotel room door.

We met a young diplomat in Sao Paolo who was on our flight to Brasilia, Marcello. He was kind enough to drive us to our hotel after we landed and take us on a brief driving tour of the capital. This city is so wild! The architecture is all from 1956 - 1960 - The city was designed all in one go, and the outline is of an airplane. The cockpit is the buildings of Congress, Supreme

Court, Presidential Palace and Ministries. The wings of the plane are residential, shopping and hotels are right at the body of the plane. There is a hotel district and you won't find hotels anywhere else! Residents are huge blocks of apartment complexes, all color and number coordinated. The architect was a communist who is still alive and living in Rio. It's obvious - the city is very communally organized!

So far what has struck Anthony and I is that no one is walking around talking on cell phones. No one is sitting in cafes talking on cell phones. Everyone is talking to each other! And - there's no drip coffee - it's all espresso.

Anyway - Anthony is doing well. He's so happy to be here. The voices are incessant, and Ant's dealing as well as he can - but being happy is huge medicine! I don't think the entity knows what we're doing at all - (going to John of God). Anthony and I spoke last night over dinner about our expectations. It's all so surreal. How could one man heal so many people?? And will he be able to help us?

Once in Abadiania I'll be updating the blog from internet cafes. My posts will be every three days or so.

Please think of Anthony on Wednesday, July 14, as this will be his day before Joao and the benevolent entities, receiving guidance.

Thank you!

Sending love from Brazil,

Maria

I Got My Visa! Leaving July 10 with Anthony!

It was truly an amazing day!

Everything lined up and Divine Grace intervened!

The Brazilian Consulate granted me an emergency visa today due largely to the fact that I'd gotten a letter from my brother written by his psychiatrist stating his condition. Without that letter, nothing could have happened. And if yesterday I hadn't put a hold on my mail for today, allowing me to pick it up at 9:30am this morning (rather than getting it delivered at 2pm).

My new passport was with today's mail! The last appointment at the consulate is at 11am, so time was of the essence. After the post office I drove to Mill Valley and met Anthony and his psychiatrist in the parking lot of the doctor's building. The doctor handed Anthony the letter and Anthony handed it to me. And I was off to San Francisco. No traffic. Easy parking. I got there in 20 minutes.

The next obstacle: I didn't have an appointment with the consulate for today, but for next Tuesday (the earliest I could get). But I went anyway, hoping that my Visa application would be accepted (though I used my old passport number to fill out the application b/c I hadn't gotten my new passport yet). Hoping they would give me an appointment even though I wasn't scheduled for that day. Hoping they would honor the doctor's letter. Hoping they would be able to generate a visa in just a few hours, because my plane ticket is for tomorrow at 1:30pm.

And ...

I got it!!!

Lessons from today:

You must be 100% behind your desire for it to manifest into reality. No ambivalence. No half-assed-ness. Through the whole day I kept visioning them handing me the visa and Anthony and I boarding the plane together. I never gave other options energy.

Prayer is powerful!!

Faith is powerful!

I believe in God (The One) completely!

In gratitude,

Maria

A Delay In My Departure - Anthony Traveling Alone

It looks like Anthony will be flying to Brazil alone after all, due to a delay in my passport renewal/visa application. All I can think, is that this is all meant to be. My prayers that I be on the flight this Saturday with my brother have met with comforting words from my guides, "Trust us - it's all taken care of."

So, Anthony will be arriving 9 days before me. He's bringing a letter from his psychiatrist to show the airline people - hopefully this will serve him, and protect him from any unwanted offense.

I will likely leave on July 20 and get to Abadiania on the 21st. Anthony will have already been treated by John of God.

My thoughts are focused on trusting and patience now.

Saying YES to power

Back from Vision Quest. What a powerful nine days!

While out there, on the third night of the quester’s solos (quester's go out for three days on their own), I was jumped by an entity while falling asleep. My guides had told me to sleep in the Medicine Wheel that night, but I didn't listen. The malevolent being used my own voice to give it permission to enter, right as I was in that in-between state; or maybe it mimicked my voice. All I know is that suddenly I heard my own voice say: I want to be possessed. This is not my will at all, so how could I be saying it?

But it was permission.

In an instant my body was violently entered by this being. I was in a state of paralysis, but my astral body was able to pray. I called on Yeshua and Magdalene. My astral body voice praying sounded like the most evil demon voice ... So strange!! But within one second, the entity was out. Top of my head tingling, whole body buzzing. At that point, I felt two things: terrified and incredibly powerful. I realized that it is impossible for the negative beings to stay in my body and that I never have to go through this experience again!! I got dressed (probably 2am), and lugged my bedding out into the Medicine Wheel in the middle of the meadow where base camp was. I was there until sunrise, praying, staring at the cosmos and feeling vast in myself, battling with my hyper-vigilant mind that was afraid to try to sleep, and finally, after calling in Kali, I slept.

Kali, the Indian goddess who came out of Durga to fight a demon that none of the other gods could defeat. And she devoured and destroyed it.

I’ve realized a huge lesson from this attack. That it’s time to really own my power – the power I can hold – and when I don’t own it, it’s like I’m choosing to be vulnerable to attack. So – right now – I own, I am, I can feel my power. It’s incredibly strong. And with it comes the responsibility to wield in the service of love and The One.

This last year has been a so surreal- yet this has been my reality all my life – walking between the worlds...

I have been fighting off possession attacks since I was a child. And now, no more.

It's taken me 37 years to completely say yes to my power. And it must be a 100% yes, because that is the purest protection from any other being finding a crevice to sneak in.

My nights have been peaceful since that last attack.

I have been waking in the night, smiling and with a soft, open heart.

I can feel the benevolent entities who work with Medium Joao (John of God) around me, working through me on my clients, healing me as I sleep. I've never felt such present and immediate response to my prayers for healing. It's amazing!!

___________

My brother has been preparing for the trip. He's excited. The malevolent being in him is very angry about the Brazil trip. It's acting out way more. Making Anthony move, more. It seems to recognize me, and when I'm around it makes purposeful engagement with me - either through waving, or other strange actions.

The other day, when I was at my Grandparent's house visiting my brother, he yelled out "Fuck You!" completely out of the blue. I knew it was the entity. Everyone in the house just went about their business and ignored it. It struck me how incredibly lucky Anthony is to have a family who totally accepts his crisis for what it truly is. The love and support is so profound. This is one reason I have faith that this crisis is going to have a positive outcome.

Grandma said, "It's threatened or it wouldn't be acting this way." My Grandma is 88. She's a devout Episcopalian. She talked to her priest about Anthony's possession and sent Anthony to speak with him. She's so solid. Totally unshaken by this evil presence in her home. She just keeps showering Anthony with her love.

__________

I've had many more dreams of being in groups of people and I'm laying my hands on them, channelling healing light.

Gratitude.

__________

Prayers that my Passport comes in the mail on Tuesday, so I can get to the Consulate for my visa by Wednesday!!

It's happening. It's happened. Ashe.

Pre-Trip Thoughts and Dreams by Maria

June 12. Three days before leaving for Vision Quest. Once home from quest, eleven days before leaving for Abadiania, Brazil.

It was only about two-weeks ago that Anthony told me he was going to Brazil to see John of God, and I went home from our lunch date feeling uncomfortable in my being. It didn't feel right for Anthony to go alone, but no one in our family could go - except me - except ... money...

I told my brother I would pray and dream on it and if Spirit wanted me to go, it would all flow gracefully. That night I dreamt I was outside under trees with many people. We were all wearing white. John of God was there among us. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was going and it was all being held by much greater powers.

I let my family know my decision, and we began brainstorming how to finance the trip. I called out to my beloved community and friends. My mother offered me her frequent flyer miles. And my brother gave $1000 of his disability money for my plane ticket, visa application and lodging in Brazilia for one night.

My brother...

I realized on receiving his donation how important it was for him that I go.

More dreams...

Once again at the Casa- everyone in white. A group of healers who work with John of God are helping people. Every morning they offer energy clearings. I am healed by a beautiful slender woman with long straight brown hair. She looks like she has Native American blood.

Another one: I am in one of the current rooms. I am helping people. This goes on for what seems like hours.

Then - I am at my Grandparent's house and John of God is sitting at the old round kitchen table. I feel him gazing at me but I am nervous to directly look at him. Finally I do, and Wow! He is beautiful! It's almost overwhelming. I feel more seen and accepted for all of who I am than ever before in my life. I become shy and smile, say hello, then turn away.

__________

Last night Anthony was over here, at the apartment.

He was trying to work his new camera that can take hours of video footage. We plan to document the trip as much as possible.

The malevolent entity has been in him since August, and very active since September. Such a long time for my brother to be fighting for his body and mind. The entity is so enmeshed with him sometimes, Anthony can't tell what thoughts are his, what body movements are his. As I sat next to Anthony looking at the laptop computer together, talking about our trip, I felt the hair on my neck standing up and nausea growing in my stomach. This was my typical psychic reaction being close to him. The entity's energy is so toxic. It's hard to explain. When I look at my brother there is a film in front of him, all around him. He's not clear. And being close to him, the energy is prickly, squeezing... evil...

Yet in the midst of that energy is my brother - my brilliant, beautiful, bright brother!

How does he do it, day after day, hour after hour? How does he continue to stay true to his heart, mind and soul? But then, the only other option is to die... really...

And he's told me he's thought about it, but he just can't give up.

Here are some books Anthony wrote down for me last night:

Remarkable Healings - Shakuntala Modi

Healing Lost Souls & Spirit Releasement Therapy - William Baldwin

Thirty Years Amongst the Dead - Dr. Carl Wickland

The Unquiet Dead - Edith Fiore

The Presence of Other Worlds - Wilson Van Dusen