June 12. Three days before leaving for Vision Quest. Once home from quest, eleven days before leaving for Abadiania, Brazil.
It was only about two-weeks ago that Anthony told me he was going to Brazil to see John of God, and I went home from our lunch date feeling uncomfortable in my being. It didn't feel right for Anthony to go alone, but no one in our family could go - except me - except ... money...
I told my brother I would pray and dream on it and if Spirit wanted me to go, it would all flow gracefully. That night I dreamt I was outside under trees with many people. We were all wearing white. John of God was there among us. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was going and it was all being held by much greater powers.
I let my family know my decision, and we began brainstorming how to finance the trip. I called out to my beloved community and friends. My mother offered me her frequent flyer miles. And my brother gave $1000 of his disability money for my plane ticket, visa application and lodging in Brazilia for one night.
My brother...
I realized on receiving his donation how important it was for him that I go.
More dreams...
Once again at the Casa- everyone in white. A group of healers who work with John of God are helping people. Every morning they offer energy clearings. I am healed by a beautiful slender woman with long straight brown hair. She looks like she has Native American blood.
Another one: I am in one of the current rooms. I am helping people. This goes on for what seems like hours.
Then - I am at my Grandparent's house and John of God is sitting at the old round kitchen table. I feel him gazing at me but I am nervous to directly look at him. Finally I do, and Wow! He is beautiful! It's almost overwhelming. I feel more seen and accepted for all of who I am than ever before in my life. I become shy and smile, say hello, then turn away.
__________
Last night Anthony was over here, at the apartment.
He was trying to work his new camera that can take hours of video footage. We plan to document the trip as much as possible.
The malevolent entity has been in him since August, and very active since September. Such a long time for my brother to be fighting for his body and mind. The entity is so enmeshed with him sometimes, Anthony can't tell what thoughts are his, what body movements are his. As I sat next to Anthony looking at the laptop computer together, talking about our trip, I felt the hair on my neck standing up and nausea growing in my stomach. This was my typical psychic reaction being close to him. The entity's energy is so toxic. It's hard to explain. When I look at my brother there is a film in front of him, all around him. He's not clear. And being close to him, the energy is prickly, squeezing... evil...
Yet in the midst of that energy is my brother - my brilliant, beautiful, bright brother!
How does he do it, day after day, hour after hour? How does he continue to stay true to his heart, mind and soul? But then, the only other option is to die... really...
And he's told me he's thought about it, but he just can't give up.
Here are some books Anthony wrote down for me last night:
Remarkable Healings - Shakuntala Modi
Healing Lost Souls & Spirit Releasement Therapy - William Baldwin
Thirty Years Amongst the Dead - Dr. Carl Wickland
The Unquiet Dead - Edith Fiore
The Presence of Other Worlds - Wilson Van Dusen
