MARIA'S INTEGRATION POST

Home from Brasil for a week now.

Integration is slow.

I'm having many feelings about my time in Abadiania and my brother's experience being so different. No need to have answers now... I suppose time will reveal much...

The Entities continue to work with me daily. I feel their love around me.

There is a sense of waking up from a long sleep. The blanket that had kept me numb was woven of fear. Throwing off that blanket now, a victim no longer, the world looks very different. And I look back at my life with some sorrow at how much I avoided. How scared I've been of love.

I am already investigating a January return trip to Brasil. I'm looking into renting a house for four-weeks. I already miss the Casa, Abadiania, the community...

Gratitude for this renewal of life within me. My eyes shine. My heart shines. My hands radiate Creator's healing love. I am ready for what's next.

"Segura na mao de deus e vai."

Take the hand of God and go.

Amor y luz,

Maria

Anthony: Last Post

This morning I had a consultation with a medical intuitive over the phone. I first relayed to her my experience with John of God and the other mediums at Spiritist centers in Brasil. She told me that she didn't sense an entity attachment. She told me that somehow my frequency had shifted and I was picking up voices from my former coworkers and voices from the other side. She said that I would require a frequency shift to block the voices.

We talked about meditation and how it might be possible that my practice had shifted me into another frequency that triggered this experience. She was less sure how to describe my sense of being possessed. She also suggested that if I did not shift frequencies with John of God in Abadiania, then I might not shift if I visit again.

I have been talking to someone who practices healing within the Western Mystery Tradition. His method seems similar to the practices that I've read about in Dione Fortune's book Psychic Self-Defense. Tomorrow morning I drive to Los Angeles for five days of work in this tradition to address possession and psychic protection.

This practitioner in Los Angeles just returned from a visit to see John of God. Like the medical intuitive, he suggested that a second visit to Abadiania might not be the best choice for me since I didn't experience any positive changes during my first visit. He suggested work on my aura and chakras, cord cutting, and other techniques.

I do want to go back to Abadiania, but I look forward to taking my photography and video editing courses this fall sememster. My hope is that I return from Los Angeles without these voices yakking at me.

When I went before the Entity incorporated in John of God, I asked for help in realizing my creative path. The Entity said he could help me. I want to get back to writing, filmmaking, and maybe even acting and singing. (Of course, since my trip to Brasil, I also want to brush up on my Portuguese and Spanish.)

Anthony: Back from Rio

I do not like the obsessing entity or entities that I have. I kept hearing them while walking along the beaches of Ipanema, Leblon, Copacabana, and Leme, sipping suco de melancía, listening to Portuguese lessons in my hotel room. They seem to solely exist to bother me. They have said that they want me to work in pornography, but they do not follow up. They make racist and sexual comments, often repeating themselves, and swear all the time. I didn't want to stay in Rio with them.

On August 1, I took a cab to the Santos Dumont airport in Rio to try to get on the same August 2 flight as my sister. I wanted to surprise her on the flight home — I was supposed to leave on August 11. I paid USD$135.00 to change my flight from Rio to Sao Paulo and Sao Paulo to SFO. I took a final walk along Copacabana at night to listen to a woman who played guitar and sang along the beach between two circular food bars. Then the next day, I took a taxi from my hotel to the international airport. Along the freeway, the taxi broke down and the driver flagged down an official taxi. The taxi crossed two lanes of traffic while I dragged my lugged in front of the first taxi. I switched cabs. The new driver would get the R$70.00 fare. (He paid the first driver some money to make a fair trade.)

At 4:45 PM on August 2, I walked up to my sister sitting in a food court in the Sao Paulo-Guarulhos International Airport and gave her a hug. She told me that she had written in her journal that she would be traveling back home with someone, even taking the Marin Airporter with the person. She couldn't think of who the person might be.

Since I've been back, I've been thinking about seeing a medical intuitive. I arranged a last minute trip to another state, but changed plans when I discovered the price would be $2,500.00. With taxi and hotel and food, the whole trip would cost around $3,700.00. That would cover the cost of two months in Abadiania if I turned around and went back to see John of God.

Of course, I start classes on August 16. But I cannot enjoy the beaches in Rio or take classes with this possession by discarnate or incarnate entities. (I really have no idea what's going on. I just know that the cause isn't neurological and I don't have schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, or bipolar disorder.) So my first priority is getting rid of this thing.

I have about ten days to get my teeth cleaned and plan another trip back to Brasil for mid-August. I have written a letter to a staff person at the Casa, explaining the obstacles of my last trip. (Even now this stupid entity wants to write this weblog entry. It keeps typing letters that I don't want to type and I have to delete them.) I think I need to spend more time talking to mediums of the Casa.